THE HORRIYING EPISODES LEADING UP TO THE PUBLICATION OF THIS POETRY COLLECTION

August 15, 2020

In three short days, Lia's poetry collection will be released.

One of the primary problems Lia had with editing her draft is that she had done her writing and editing on Google Docs. And while there is nothing wrong with that, it can be more difficult than word to format. And by can be, I mean that neither Lia or I had ever done much formatting on Google Docs and she would have had to learn everything and I couldn't help her because I work mainly in Microsoft Word.

So I offered to quickly throw it in word (after all, it was already centered on the pages and most of it was done. It should be easy, right?)

WRONG

All the words shifted from the center of the page! It was madness! Chaos!

It wasn't really that bad though. I just re-centered everything and when Lia was deciding on font choice, I just went ahead and changed individual poems and took screenshots of the page for her, so she could see how the poems looked.

But then it was formatted! Words centered on crisp white pages! It was finally done!

WRONG

I don't remember which one of us had the bright idea but...IT WAS DECIDED THAT THE BOOK WOULD HAVE AN OMBRE EFFECT.

IF YOU CHANGE THE PAGE BACKGROUND, IT CHANGES THE BACKGROUND OF EVERY PAGE. I HAD TO CHUNK THE BOOK APART AND THEN CHANGE PAGE COLORS.

But then it was done and I sent Lia screenshots of each color so she could see how the blend worked! I even fixed one or two typos that managed to sneak through the edits. And it was ready to go!

WRONG

Turns out when you change a colored page to a PDF, IT TURNS THE PAGES WHITE.

I had to change the PDF formatting settings (after shifting through several articles online to figure out how to do it)! And I had to do that for EVERY section of the poetry collection. And then I combined the many small PDFs into one PDF (and the colors STAYED!!!) and it was ready to throw it onto the publication site! And the formatting was finally done!

WRONG

First the pages were off (and for the ombre to be less jarring, I was making it so that the color change didn't happen on two pages that were side by side when the page was open. And then I changed it once REFORMATTED ALL OF THE PDFS AND TURNED THEM INTO COMBINED PDF AGAIN. And then check the preview again. Do it again.

WRONG

Do it again.

WRONG

Do it again.

WRONG

Do it again.

And then finally it was right! The last of the information was filled out and Lia ordered her proof copy! Just a formality right?

WRONG

For some reason the entire book was printed so the pages were the size of notebook paper or printer paper instead of the size of a novel! (Also the matte cover just ended up looking dirty.) It was all

WRONG

I couldn't figure out how to change the book SIZE (since the publishing company's website just said, "this is the size of book you get based on what you uploaded! so deal with it!" (but in a more polite professional way.) So we tried ANOTHER publishing company. But it should be easy right? Everything was already formatted, RIGHT?

WRONG

THIS WEBSITE NEEDED A SINGLE DOC RATHER THAN A PDF. So I had to figure out a way to put A BUNCH OF DOCS INTO ONE DOC WHILE KEEPING THE COLOR. [It was a high stress time. I also formatted the Kindle edition on the book during this period]. But, because I am a genius, I eventually figured it out. Just pop it in and we're good to go! Ombre book in a normal size, coming right up!

WRONG

The publishing company (Number two) just took all my nicely formatted pages and made them all WHITE.

WRONG

I even tried formatting them as PICTURES and it was still all

WRONG

Eventually, the move was made back to the other publishing company (just so I could try something) and one night, when I was up late procrastinating working on my final paper for art, I realized how to change the page size! The size of the PDF page was that size, so that was the size of the book! All I had to do it pop over to the PDF and change it, re-upload it and I was GOLDEN.

Lia ordered the SECOND proof copy and when it finally arrived, I excepted cheering. INSTEAD! GUESS WHAT!

WAS

ALL

WRONG

Turns out, I needed a special program to change the page size without leaving weird white lines at the top and bottom!!! [I MEAN, HOW RUDE! IT COMPLETELY RUINED THE OMBRE PAGE EFFECT!!!]

But I didn't HAVE the program.

But! After a few more hours of research, I realized I could change the DOCUMENT page size and THEN format it into the PDF and it would work! That would take what..5 min?

WRONG

Because of the page size change, it wouldn't just copy and paste the words! I HAD TO REDO EVERYTHING. THE FONT STYLE, FONT SIZE, CENTERED IN THE DOCUMENT AND CENTERED TO THE PAGE. AND IT HAD TO BE SPLIT BACK INTO THEIR COLOR SECTIONS AND THEN BACK INTO INDIVIDUAL PDFS AND THEN INTO ONE PDF AND THEN UPLOADED TO THE PUBLISHING SITE!

But it was done. The preview looked amazing! The formatting was done and...WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT BECAUSE THE PAGE SIZE CHANGED THE COVER MESSED UP AND IS NOW ALL

WRONG

But at last its actually finished. Finally! At long freaking last For the Broken Heart, For the Broken Girl is ready to be published! For real this time (I hope.) At the time of writing this post, I don't know yet if this latest proof copy will actually be right (third time's the charm!) or if the release of the physical copy will be pushed back. And even if everything is perfect, it's possible that there will be a slight delay between the release date and the day the physical copy is available on Amazon and the like.

It might be a bit of a wait until I hold my own copy in my hands.

When I finally do, I'm not sure if I will put it up on a shelf to be looked at it awe or fling it off the nearest cliff.

...

Maybe I'd better buy two copies?

-Mary Kate @ Sarcastic Scribblings